What shadow do you want to cast?
Thanks to a client for prompting this Blog headline. In a recent executive development feedback session we were discussing style and impact, and how sometimes, when under pressure, or in the heat of the moment, you need to stop yourself from coming out with an emotional response that can undermine your effectiveness as a leader. He suggested a technique which works for him - sticking a note to himself, readily visible at all times (on the small notepad he carries everywhere), asking “What shadow do I want to cast?”
You may find your own prompt to get emotions under control and manage your behaviour to make the impact you really want to make, rather than one that brings undesirable consequences. But, whatever you choose, make it simple, memorable, and easily accessible. Some people take a deep breath, or count to 3 when they feel the emotions rising. So, what are the benefits of finding an appropriate and memorable prompt?
- It makes you stop before coming out with the first and often emotional response, which you may regret afterwards.
- That gives you time to THINK. Take that time to make a choice – if you still want to give the emotional response, then it has been a conscious decision to do so, rather than shooting from the hip.
- Alternatively, you may choose to make a different response based more on logic than emotion.
- You are more likely to get a rational response in return, rather than raising the hackles and emotions of the person you are facing. A great technique for those who find conflict an issue.
- You are taking more control of your stress level!
What shadow do you want to cast?
Make it a choice.
